Sometimes things are out of our control. But we can choose how we cope and move on from things or people that have hurt us. It is not easy. It is possible though. So don't give up, keep fighting, and know recovery is worth it! This is Shayna's powerful story...
I've had depression since about my sophomore year of high school, so 4 years. It led to me losing all interest and motivation in things I love, including band which was basically my life. I isolated myself from everyone and everyday after school would just sit in my room alone. I started self harming toward the end of sophomore year and did it all through sophomore and junior year and I never told anyone. I kept it all a secret so it wouldn't change people's perception of me. I would lie when people asked me if I was okay, I lied to my mom when she asked if I was depressed. I didn't ever want anyone to know. What I did to help myself was to just listen to music. It's funny because the slower sad sounding music is what helped me the most. I still listen to specific songs and remember being in the darkest points of my depression. It was mostly Mumford and sons slower songs and ed sheeran. I also have had a Tumblr since like 8th grade and going on that also really helped me. It was like my own little world where I could be myself and rant and post what I wanted and no one would judge me. Senior year I still was depressed but I could tell I was getting better. I didn't have the desire to self harm and would go months without doing it. Even though there were still times I had no motivation or interest in anything, I started being more social and being around my friends. My senior year was probably the point where I started turning around. I still have times where I really feel my depression coming back and that sometimes lasts a few weeks but I'm not as bad as I was. And I'm also very proud that I haven't self harmed in over 6 months. I know my depression isn't completely gone but I found ways to handle it better and help myself more than I did back then.
Shayna 19 years old
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