The Unfinished Story

The Unfinished Story

I watched this boy for a while. He slowly started to mean more to me than any person I had ever met. So caring and at the same time feisty, I never knew what he would do next. We always did such risky things and developed these crazy inside jokes. His chocolate brown hair that I seemed to always fix, with a sweet face that I held on to when we kissed, the cute little stubble hairs that he missed shaving, and his soft smiles that brightened my day. We went on walks that turned into new paths, late night car rides listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers, downtown coffee shops and murals that of course came along with pictures, we spent a lot of time in restaurants talking about our dreams and goals not to mention little things like our favorite colors too. No matter what we did or where we went everything with this boy was an adventure. Over the five years of knowing this boy I fell more and more in love with him each day. I thought so highly of him, never thinking he would have a problem in the world. This boy I cared about so deeply began to fall into a depression. It tore me. I knew i could help though having my fare share of it all. I worked and worked trying to not only build a strong healthy relationship with this amazing boy but also help him throughout the battles he fought. It was working until those little things snuck up that I didn't see coming. It seemed like at that point I was trying for no reason. I was drained, I was someone he took for granted when deep down he knew i cared more about him than the others he was wasting his time with. I was hurt and tired. I had to end it. He showed up at the house. The moment I saw him every memory for five years played through my head as I held his belongings in my hands. He hugged me immediately. His arms wrapped tightly around me reminded me of the nights when he would drop me off and walk over to my side of the car and we would hug each other and wish to never be apart. After he slowly let go I came back into reality. We talked for a while as he told me this wasn't the end. Our eyes locked on each other seeming as if we couldn't break it as his filled with tears and rolled down his pale face. I wiped them away and kissed his cheek. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. He asked me if i wanted the stuffed animal I got him when i had gone to the zoo. I told him to keep it and that i would see it soon. He disagreed. You see I knew this boy like the back of my hand. So well we could finish each other's sentences and know what the other was thinking. I knew there was something deeper going on. I asked why. He told me it was the end for him. Unloved and unwanted he told me as I looked in his eyes and saw the underlying hurt in his heart. It broke me… I had spent years caring for and loving this boy only wanting the best for him. I hugged him hard wishing somehow I could make him feel the heart I had for him. We watched each other go our separate ways. He is currently getting the help he needs that I couldn't fully give him. Through it all you see, he taught me how to live and through it all he taught me what love was. It was not just another failed relationship that people regret and move on from two months later. This is a story and the book hasn't closed yet.

Do Not Lose The Flame For Motivation

My motivation for education is to become a writer, not only that but also to become smarter, successful, make a difference, and finally make my family proud.

Being a writer has been a dream of mine for a while now. I seem to chase my own kind of freedom and I see a lot of that in writing. When I was in rehab for an eating disorder I found a way of escaping and letting thoughts, emotions, and struggles out through journaling. Unfortunately, along with the natural ability to write comes with knowledge that you get from school. My motivation is to become a better writer so I can achieve that freedom I long for.

Without a solid education you are less likely to make a difference because people may not take you seriously. Sadly, it’s harder these days to prove to people that you know something because we all as humans can be judgmental; not understanding that some things can be outside the norm. The people who never want to accept change will always be disappointed. No doubt about it, the world and society are always transforming into something else. As well as knowing less academically, which has hurt my motivation throughout high school because I didn't think I was as smart as the others and was made to feel that way by my piers. I was told I was just stupid, leading me to stop trying completely. Even though I knew more about life than most of them, somehow I was still treated like I knew nothing not only by the students but the teachers as well. This can shape a child's view on education no matter what the circumstances may be. In my opinion, the teachers that I had experienced focussed more on the kids that were doing well than the ones who needed a little extra TLC, but of course that was someone else's job.

My family is a big part too, I finally want to prove to them that I am more than a screw up, can achieve things on my own, and I don't have to be a burden to them any longer. Being willing to do things on my own but not knowing how has left me feeling helpless and more likely to give up. My parents would get upset with me for abandoning an assignment that was difficult or not trying hard enough, when in reality I didn't know how to improve or better myself because I wasn't taught how. Wake Tech has gotten me back to being confident in school, knowing it won't be easy but encouraging me and guiding me to be successful. You can't do everything on your own. Now I am not afraid to ask questions because to make a change I need to gain more wisdom. With all that being said, I am slowly learning that I am not helpless and I haven't lost my fire of motivation. Beating the odds as well as remembering I can do hard things.